Prof. Namita Mohanty
The recent triangular Love and Hate story of Shantanu-Anita-Amresh has hit the headlines across media. In this game, while Shantanu committed suicide, Anita, the lady who got sandwiched between the past love and present marriage, is left with nothing! Amaresh, the so-called lover also ditched the lady and didn’t hesitate to publicly defame her. This could be one of the unfateful stories of our time!
Loss of life is always painful and it is more so in case of a suicidal death. In the present context of Shantanu, Anita and Amaresh, the incidence has been woven around three individuals; all adults in a triangular love relationship.
Suicidal ideas usually develop when there are failures and frustrations in life and one is not able to come out of it or is unable to cope up with it. Extramarital relationships have always been unpalatable, illegal and unacceptable in the society. Many a times, love and reason don’t go together. There are plenty of instances about it. But when people are conscious of the causes and consequences of such socially unacceptable relationship, they must ask themselves thousand and one time about the value of morality and dignity in life.
If still undecided and they have difficulties in taking a decision, they can always seek the advice of experienced persons whom they respect, trust, accept and ready to listen to in difficult times of life or during crises that they face in life. Besides them, a professional counsellor can help them in taking a decision during such turning points in life.
Girls and women must take cognizance of the need to safeguard their life and dignity. Right to life with dignity cannot be lost sight of. Responsibility increases by many folds when people get married. It is definitely not child’s play. Love, Care and Trust are the cementing elements for nourishing and strengthening human relationships and for its sustenance too.
Nobody has a right to play with the body and emotions of individuals, be it a man or woman. Freedom and liberty are entwined with one’s dignity. We cannot overlook this. Self-respect is the greatest respect that one can have in life. Similarly, self-acceptance is inevitable for one’s sound mental health. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary to think about one’s life and relationship before tying the nuptial knot.
Women by nature believe more in emotional bonding, relatedness and connectedness compared to their male counterparts. Thus, one is expected to seriously think about the pros and cons of a relationship before saying yes to a marriage.
Emotional blackmailing is scaling up in the society. Therefore, one needs to be conscious of intimate as well as private moments of life being in a relationship as these are being easily captured through digital gadgets. Many people are taking advantage of this and don’t even think for a moment regarding the sanctity of a relationship.
Emotional blackmailing is scaling up in the society. Therefore, one needs to be conscious of intimate as well as private moments of life being in a relationship as these are being easily captured through digital gadgets. Many people are taking advantage of this and don’t even think for a moment regarding the sanctity of a relationship. There are ample of evidences which reveal that lovers do not hesitate to deny to get into a legal and long lasting married life, even after spending years of physical relationship with their partners. Ultimately it leads to mistrust and misunderstanding among partners leading to aggressive behaviours. Thus, impulse control and channelization of libidinal energy into socially desirable, meaningful and constructive ways which only gives a purpose to life be adopted. It will make life soulful and worth living.
(The writer is a renowned psychologist and currently teaching the subject at Department of Psychology, Utkal University, Odisha)
An OdishaLIVE Feature (www.odisha.live)
Relationships in all circles are so important for us as human beings. Love and Hate are two sides of a deal. It is important how you present your case and manage the same. Of course, when the balance fails at individual level, the group or society should play an important role. It did not in the case of Santanu and Anita.
The story also hit the social media and created a viral situation. Nobody gains from this. Santanu, Anita and Amaresh, all had to play a better role, a greater role in the story.
Thank you Prof. Namita Mohanty for throwing lights on such a recent and relevant issue from the Psychological angle. It should help others.
Save relationships, save life!