Aditi Panda

As we are ushering rakhi on 7th August, majority of boys must be mulling over bunking college on some pretext or other to avoid getting rakhis tied from girls who they are trying to woo. Actually this is a sweet gesture of saying NO to a boy’s proposal, Isnt it!

But many boys are unwilling to accept rejection easily and assume that the girl is bidding more time before accepting the proposal. The judgemental and biased mindset of our patriarchal society about a woman’s attire also makes them assume that a girl is available.

A girl’s individual preference to wear the attire of her choice should be respected even if she does snap the clichéd universal social norms set by the society. Agreed that sometimes girls do break the dress code, especially in the urban areas under the western influence and the myth of rejuvenation but then the question arises why are all girls made to put up with the assault, torture or victimization? Why are girls made to bear the brunt of things for no fault of theirs and are targeted to vile and malevolence?

‘If a girl denies your proposal you have to accept it with self-respect and revere. It is purely because we all have our own personal preferences and the right to say a yes or a no. But if you force yourself on the girl and pester the girl then it is clear that either your feelings are not genuine or you are chasing the girl to please your inflated male ego. Such relationships do not have a future’, says Manoranjan Sahoo working with a NGO that works for the rights of women and children.

At present the envelope of vile and venom is being pushed a little too far, indirectly glamorizing the gruesome and appalling which is creating a bad impact on the psyche of the youth. ‘Thanks to bollywood we have been romanticizing the notion that a girl’s no actually means a yes.

Perhaps for so many generations women have been conditioned to be subservient to men and to bury their own individuality. It will do us all good when we respect her opinion and that meaning when we respect her expression of life,’says Surbhi Sarna, a story educator, children’s writer, currently pursuing Psychology to help impart life skills to children.

The onus lies on all the players of this drama called society to play their part to perfection to assure that the crosshairs of hostility and cohesive negativism loose there mayhem on the minds of the men who are unwilling to accept a NO, as it hampers their dignity and crushes there ego.

Taking the cue from the movie Pink that received a lot of appreciation by the critics as it made a powerful statement on the existing feudal mindset of a majority of India, where men and women are judged by a different yardstick. Please be the CHANGE.

(Aditi is a freelance writer and pursues interest in the area of social issues)


  1. I agree to this. And about the dress code thing. It’s so true. Why do only girls have a particular dress code? However much the society evolves, it will always have people who still get shocked to see girls roaming in public places in a pair of shorts. But it’s absolutely fine if a guy turns up wearing something worse. Obviously he won’t be judged. I feel sorry to say that I know people who are really close to me who do not like girls in shorts or dresses or anything other than the traditional salwar kameez or kurtis.
    And since I’m the so called younger generation my point of view always clashes with theirs and I’m made to shut up. ?

  2. Well written article. Educational workshops conducted in schools could be a solution to bring a positive change to our society.

  3. Male dominated society still exits. Your article is eye opener madam. Hope slowly our set of minds will change towards gender equality.

  4. Well articulated… sensitising at a younger age might bring a difference and it’s not the responsibility of the schools only but family also plays a major role…